I can tuck mytits in my pants
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize