fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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