I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
