Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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