She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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