Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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