my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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