The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
