were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
