Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize