Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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