she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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