do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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