So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
