im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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