I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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