Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
