I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
