well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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