um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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