Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
