My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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