her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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