Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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