Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
