I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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