no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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