I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
