But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
