K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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