I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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