It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize