i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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