it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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