Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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