Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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