And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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