they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
