last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize