Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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