i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
