Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
