I need help removing her.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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