just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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