pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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