I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
