What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
