South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
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You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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