It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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