I can tuck mytits in my pants
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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