WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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