it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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