that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
