I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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