I just made out with a guy for $7.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I love you. Go after that dick
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
