I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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