Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
